Tame?

Remember how I told you I was out of the woods? I was wrong. Don't worry though God is still doing amazing things! I still have my internship and there is even talk about a job after my internship ends! How amazing!

When I say that I am not out of the woods what I mean is that the week after the filter training was filled with trials. I moved out of my home of 3 years, someone backed into my car, I got fired from my part time job at the Coffee Bean, I got pulled over for not having current reistration stickers, my dad told me he is withdrawing support in August, and got a jury duty summons. I felt like I was getting sucker punched by real life...no, no...real life was kickin' my butt. Every time I tried to stand up, I fell. every time I tried to talk, I cried. But through it all I leaned in closer and closer to God. He gave me strength to stand up underneath it all and my trust in Him soared.

Which brings me back to the title of this post. Is God safe? Is God tame? NO!!!! BUT...He is good. I also began to see that even though I was having a hard time of it, I was not the only person in the world suffering. God gave me empathy for others pain and a wider perspective on my own present sufferings. I saw that God would do what was best for me even if what was best for me was to get thrown around by life a little. He knew it would steady me on Him instead of this world and even though it pained Him to see me hurt, it gave Him great joy to see me respond with even an ounce of maturity and humility.

Which brings me back to the title of this blog. God was leading me by still waters even though everything around me was being tossed, turned, and upheaved. I am learning this new dance with God and, for a while, I was trying to lead a dance I didn't even know. I messed up, got stepped on, and frustrated but when I finally remembered that God had me in His hand and that He knew where we were going I began to trust and follow.

I'm now moved into a new home with three other amazing girls, waiting for the insurance claim on my car to be processed, getting re CPR certified to become a private swim coach, the proud owner of new reistration stickers and no ticket, still pulling in support until August, and having jury duty postponed. My life is not perfect and I'm tired of smiling and pretending that it is but I know that God will finish the work He began in me.

A hard life walking next to and filled with God is still better than an easy, empty life
Kamar "Venetian" Chafi